what-would-i-say.com

So there is this website/app that will generate a status for your Facebook that supposedly "sounds like you"... I'm guessing it takes bits and pieces of your posts and mushes them together to make nonsense that you'd post on your FB for some reason. I've seen a lot of them posted lately and I didn't really understand what I was seeing... mainly because they don't make a lot of sense. I like things that make no sense, so I decided to try it out. Here are a few gems, courtesy of Lyndibot via what-would-i-say.com...

 

"God, I thought were proud to those of the United States, authorized your pump, so your license plate faces off all the fallen shelves and post this status to make sure why Then just knocked backwards and hits the Emergency Stop putting an apostrophe in making sure the users from Goodreads are welcomed. I need more candy."

 

"Bucket, toss your balls in Nutella."

 

"My cat to stop, drop, and roll, but can't get stuck in your cat feel like ice cubes."

 

"When you above water while you in my neighborhood."

 

"I think Barty Crouch looks absolutely unamused by cute little kids singing God Save the Clothes. How much you disapprove of the matter how to get up to work in the clothes, that would be high enough to go feel the pain."

 

"You can actually see here and then some crumbly brown sugar/butter stuff on top."

 

"I'm gonna run out of ideas for TV right now and joking around."

 

"Bartender realizes what's going by ourselves because they didn't bleep out of the President."

 

"You can lock electronically!"

 

"She made it, but you don't want the results of smokes."

 

"I think it's kind of like watching a threelegged cat chase squirrels."

 

"Like I need Wikipedia to think I swear guys must get a bad idea."

 

"Real Monsters, Addam's Family, Rugrats, Scooby Doo that can of tuna. It spat them in that cemetery anyway, I'm officially banned from being rude! Guy in the foot. SPEND YOUR MONEY, SAVE THE dryer to blow dry my Rolo Minis have melted into a lobotomy. Since you're saying damn witty, Chad."

 

"It's sooo well. Unfortunately, my stomach can't handle a kitten, right?"

 

"I'm gonna lock your ass in the President..."

 

"but where you only see in horror movies that have shut down the driveway before I just ends up the balcony, and then the front yard, but he says Damn tasty, but the ORCA SLAVES!!"

 

"Is it when you see a super cool with a doily on her phone."

 

"Just heard the other flotation devices."

 

"Following male models on Instagram and firing rockets from what about vases?"

 

"HAMPTON. Girl #2 didn't answer her phone."

 

"I think he's had to your child out of his own devising, which might be thicker than scrub this before, only to realize that your cigarette in my belongings. Loser gets voted out of the deceased?"

 

"LOL Maybe people are usually blizzards, and blizzards where you KNOW the dryer doesn't use grumbling when the raindrops come tumbling. You come to go home hours early. As is my destiny."

 

"IT WAS too big and round, pretty bright. Kinda sad."

 

"That's the Army Ceremonials Manual does Cinderella not gonna waste my ability to alphabetize!"

 

"Baby, if I die under anesthesia, there are usually on A bongo in the US Men's Olympic volleyball team is that Ke$ha's single Die Young isn't gay. Once a waterfall."

 

"Half this stuff on top."

 

"Kim Kardashian got flour bombed on TOP of the DMV."

 

"The chain email that people are so surprised that Lance Armstrong doped up at Taco Bell no longer make sure what if Taylor Swift is a biscuit."

 

"That lady blonde claims she gets my Dad's house."

 

"Should probably be around $2.3 trillion. That I should call it with a guy making friendship bracelets right to be a gangbang video, methinks."

 

I keep thinking "Ok, that's enough. This'll be the last one." And then I press the "generate" button again and can't help myself.

 

"I shouldn't have a lizard pop band."

 

"Why is GILFs saved in my favorite holiday, but it's THE FIFTH grade, I cheated on my camera to malfunction. *sigh*"

 

"God help you with today's Google Doodle."

 

"As soon as curious about eating MY SESAME CAKE! Long John Silver lining of Warcraft thing."

 

"Because, a pirate just came into the red velvet cake."

 

"Do not that innocent unborn baby! *stalks away* *dead silence from the field went home to brag on Twitter about chlamydia."

 

"If I tagged you and then steal your clothes and towel."

 

"That lady is pissed that I have 5 orange lighters."

 

"Fish McBites are forcibly pushed into the opening..."

 

"we never used fuck seven times because apparently the IRS is a succubus?"

 

"cute little kids singing God Save somebody's weave."

 

"If you see this number, I'm confident you know the difference between jam, jelly, preserves, fruit Shooters? Her Fruit? It ain't fruit!"

 

"I think that's everything. Yeah, that's nice, gotta go."

 

"Also, bump bump squeak was a parrot, so sorry, let me know."

 

Some of them almost make sense.