Come 'n get it, people.

In order to make your attempts at cyber-bullying easier, I'd like to go ahead and give you my personal information. I don't want you to strain yourselves trying to dig up the goods on me, so here you go:

 

My name: Lyndi Zelnicker

My address: 3200 Maudelayne Dr. E., Mobile, AL 36693

My school: University of South Alabama

My crimes: not liking your shitty attitude; adding your books to a shelf identifying you as a crybaby

 

Stalk away, bitches.

 

I'm not sure what you hope to gain by releasing this information, or the personal information of other reviewers, to the public. Other than the temporary feeling of false superiority.

 

Perhaps you'll sign me up for some mailing lists. If so, thank you for the extra coupons.

 

Or maybe you'll travel across the country to knock on my door and spit in my face? Hey, if you wanna waste your time and money more than you already have, feel free. Spit wipes off much easier than shame.

 

Will you make a call to the local police and tell them I'm running drugs out of my basement? I don't have a basement and a quick search of my house would prove your claims false. Plus, you'd be facing charges of filing a false report.

 

Or you could send me a threatening note with all the letters cut out of magazines. I'll frame it.

 

Really... what are you gonna do?

 

More than likely, nothing. You'll simply post the information on your website and do nothing. Because nobody wants to harass us as much as you do. But you're too chicken and unable to do anything other than try to make it possible for others to do your dirty work for you. Unfortunately, nobody wants to. So you're on your own.

 

I anxiously await your attack.