Taking my cues from Home Alone 2...

I have a little black dog. I hate little dogs, but this one was a mutant that I rescued, so he's okay. But this little black dog loooves to hang out in the front yard. And viciously bark at people walking by - he's protecting his territory, of course. Which is fine. The neighbors know that if he gets uppity, they just need to stomp at him like they're going to chase him and he'll tear ass back into the house. It's a system that works. 

 

So, when I see somebody wandering around my backyard at 10:30pm and the fucking dog is nowhere to be found, I'm not real sure what to do. Call the police? Nah. Play "Angels With Dirty Faces" at top volume? Hell yes.

 

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!

 

I'll find the dog later and give him a stern talking to about when he is and isn't supposed to protect the yard.