Insatiable - Lauren Dane THIS IS A FILTHY, DIRTY REVIEW THAT YOU SHOULD ONLY READ IF YOU'RE OVER THE AGE OF CONSENT. This review has been rated R for L (language), S (sexual content), PO (personal opinions), and OS (other stuff). Parental discretion would be weird, you shouldn't read this with your parents.Ok, now I think I understand why I'm having such a hard time with this series. It looks as though there is a Federation Chronicles series, which Phantom Corps is a spin-off of? I read and kinda enjoyed Undercover (FC#1). I liked Relentless (FC#2). And Insatiable is FC#3 - also enjoyed it. Insatiable is also PC#1. I couldn't get into Mesmerized (PC#2) and have yet to try Captivated (PC#3). I read these all out of order, so this was hella confusing.So, let's talk about Insatiable.First, let me say that I thought it was a romantic suspense and it sooo wasn't. However, it was a lovely romance. There was none of that "denial of emotions" between Daniel and Carina. They really, reeeally loved each other and accepted it, embraced it, and fought for it.There was very little action. Most of this book was a) backstory of the Federation v. Imperialists; b) Carina & Daniel fawning all over each other; and c) SEX!The backstory was somewhat neccessary, but it didn't really add to the story here. I could have done with a lot less since this apparently isn't about any of that and really only focuses on the romance. And since most readers will probably read these novels in the correct order, the backstory wouldn't be at all necessary because the information has already been shared throughout the previous books. At the same time, I personally needed some of that information.Carina and Daniel fawning all over each other was one of the sweetest romances I've read recently. Daniel was a wonderful hero - he took care of Carina, even when she didn't feel she needed it (but usually did). He went from defender to caretaker to lover with ease and realism. His worries about his future with Carina were understandable, but they didn't take up too much page-time. Carina was fierce! I mean, she wasn't kicking ass left and right or anything, but she held her own and took care of business the best she could. I loved how she was like "Daniel is gonna marry me, even if he doesn't know it yet. He's mine." ... but totally not in a psycho-stalker way or anything. =)The sex was steamy, as expected. But it was also FUN. The way Daniel and Carina laughed in bed was a nice change from the intense, headboard-rocking fuckathon I see in most erotica. It was touching, loving, relaxed, and... for lack of a better word, realistic. Ain't nothin' wrong with laughing in bed.“I’m going to kill you and hide your body if you don’t hurry up.” She tried to squirm to take him deeper.“I’m not going to be able to fill your request if you keep at me. I’m going to start laughing.”“You need to laugh more. After you fuck me.”My complaints. You know I got 'em, so let's have 'em.#1. Since I was under the impression that this was a romantic suspense, I was expecting there to actually be some threat to Carina. With her being the key to winning the war and all that. Nope. One threat was eliminated off-stage, halfway through the book. That threat could have been intense and benefited the book greatly. Unfortunately, this is actually an erotica novel. My mistake. There were numerous threats that could have formed, but they never materialized. The last half of the book was threat-free.#2. The lack of climax. No, I mean in the storyline, not in the bedroom. There was plenty of that. I'm talking about the end of the freaking book! The big ta-da at the end was actually played by Roman Lyons, the male lead from the previous book! Carina spoke, yes. But it wasn't much. It could have been a very intense moment that I know Lauren Dane is capable of writing. She just...didn't.#3. The writing. HOLD UP!! I, me, Lyndi, this girl? Complaining about the writing? The girl that throws around extra punctuation like you get bonus points for each use and thinks "syntax" is a fee one pays to be forgiven the sin of premarital sex? Yes. Me, fuckers. There was so much that jumped out at me and I actually tried to remember the page numbers, but I got high drunk last night and forgot some. So, here is what I do remember.#3.a. "Gate"... Lauren Dane has used this word 5 times. 5 times doesn't seem like a lot in 340 pages (though my copy was 177 pages). But it is, because it's used in every single sex scene. Oh, I guess I should mention that this word is only used to refer to the vaginal opening.He teased around her gate with the head of his cock.He teased around her gate, pushing in just a small bit and pulling back out.[...]pushing his cock into her gate, settling all the way in.Her clit stood up for him as he licked through her pussy, up from her gate.He smirked down at her as he teased his cock around her gate.I dunno why she felt the need to use this word each time, but it's not a sexy word. It usually makes me think of a wooden fence with a door in it. But since this book has teleportation portals, it makes me think of a swirling entrance to a wormhole in the middle of space. Oh yeah, tease your cock into that gate, Daniel. Not hot.#3.b. I'm hiding this in a spoiler because it's dialogue and it's a ways into the story. It's also raunchy.“That’s it, take it. Grind your clit on me,” he whispered, loving it when her pussy clutched around him, superheated and creamy. She groaned in what sounded like assent, so he kept going.Her cunt superheated, tightening around him until he had to gasp in a breath at how beyond deliriously good it felt. She used her hands on his shoulders to lever herself up, to change her angle so she could get the friction she needed against her clit.This is so fucking repetitive and just... silly. Superheated? Like it's a superpower? Can she bake stuff in there? Does Anita Blake know about this?#3.c. Inconsistency, thy name is Laura Dane.Daniel nodded, and she threw herself at him. He caught her up in a hug and without any effort, they began to walk again as she clung to him.“[...]”She nodded. “[...] I’m so relieved. I’m also heavy.” She squirmed, and he held her in place.“Watch it,” he said quietly. She didn’t know what he meant until she felt his cock brush against her ass. Ah. He put her down, and she returned to her place against his side, his arm around her shoulders.Unless Carina's ass is in the front, I don't see how it's possible for her to feel Daniel's cock brush against her ass when she's chest-to-chest with him. It's little things like this that stood out and snagged my attention away from the story.So... since it's an erotica, I'd say this is a great erotica novel. As somebody that likes a bit more oomph to my eroticas, this is good. It could have been a great romantic suspense, but I felt like the author just didn't want to put the effort into anything other than Daniel and Carina's relationship. While I really enjoyed their relationship, this story could have had a little more oomph and still have been erotica.I'd recommend it, but I'm probably done with this series for now.Holy crap, that's a long review.