BREATHE: A Billionaire Romance, Part 1

BREATHE: A Billionaire Romance, Part 1 - Jenn Marlow Please note, this rating is for the entire series (5 parts) and the review contains no spoilers.

The plot was alright, the overall story was one that I'd like in a full length novel. As five parts, it feels a lot like a soap opera. I liked the twist at the end even though it wasn't horribly shocking. The characters were bland and I didn't really connect with any of them. Overall, the story is just kinda alright.

The problems I have with things like word choice really bother me, though...

- I don't like it when men repeatedly giggle. Men chuckle, okay? If a man giggles, I'm already on notice. If a man giggles constantly... I no longer see him as a man, he's now a boy. Boys giggle. Men do not.

- People do not scream out actual words while orgasming. They would yell it. Yelling and screaming are two different things. Screaming is like a piercing cry. If you scream words, they are shrill and alarming. Not conducive to sexy times. Yelling is the equivalent of shouting - you're saying something very loudly. Consider your favorite movie sex scene and imagine the guy screaming instead of yelling/shouting and I promise you can't keep a straight face.

- Just because a character is happy or excited doesn't mean you need to use exclamation points at the end of every piece of dialogue. Now you've got two people that are wrapped in each other's arms yelling at each other about what's for breakfast or the pretty foliage outside because you can't figure out another way to express their excitement. Entire chapters where every sentence of dialogue ends with an exclamation point.

- Quite a few editing errors that force you to reread a sentence twice before giving up on trying to figure out what it means. Like the end of the sentence was changed, but the subject and verb no longer match up. Entirely unnecessary commas that create very weird sentence flow.

This author needs an editor and a thesaurus, try to throw some different words in there instead of having everyone screaming at each other. Then I'm sure she could pull four stars out of me.