What She Didn't Know

What She Didn't Know - I. Ronik First of all, the author recommends you read this in a "Valley Girl voice"... but the character isn't at all Valley Girl. She works at a book store, is the Plain Jane of the family, and the only similarity I see between her and a Valley Girl is that they're both blonde and stupid. But that covers a shitload of people that aren't Valley Girls, you know what I mean?

Second, this doesn't come across as a comedy at all. It comes off as a shallow, quickie paranormal romance with no character development or plot. They fuck, she finds out his secret, dumps him, and then they get back together. The end. While some of the descriptions were quite witty, that doesn't make it a comedy. The author is obviously a talented writer when it comes to making your lip quirk at the description of Cassie passing out post-orgasm, but that's about it.

And last, the characters' behavior is pretty much the exact opposite of what it logically should be. For example, Jessica's first date with a man ends in extreme bruising all over her neck. Her response should be wariness, when instead she just rationalizes it away - he's not a bad guy, he just has a wacky fetish. Like that makes it any better. Sorry, you don't pull out bruising fetishes on the first date, even if that were the actual explanation. The reason for him bruising her is a very obvious plot hole - the author doesn't bother to wrap that up or explain, but it ain't no fetish. Cassie's response to Seth's big secret is to suck his dick. She should have at least stopped to ask some basic questions. I mean, if some guy tells you he's the Tooth Fairy, you aren't gonna drop to your knees and salivate on his crotch, right? You'd at least ask if he's taken his medication lately. They run when they should stay and stay when they should go.

I would definitely not recommend this, even for a mere 99 cents.