It All Started With a Lima Bean

It All Started With a Lima Bean - Kimi Flores This was literally the most bland thing I've ever read. It started off with a death and it was so. fucking. sad. I was straight up crying before I finished the first paragraph of the prologue. But let me clarify that I'm also six months pregnant - life insurance commercials make me cry, that SPCA commercial makes me cry, and red lights make me cry. So while it truly was a well-written, emotional scene that deserves an emotional response, don't look into my reaction too deeply.

Once we get past that prologue, though... meh. The main characters are kinda boring. Abby is a young school teacher that wears granny panties and goes to the same diner every weekend with her one friend and orders the same meal. Her only interest is antiquing. She never gets mad, she doubts everything positive, and can't make up her mind. She hasn't had a relationship since high school and apparently doesn't ever want a man because she feels horrible guilt over three things: 1) her teenage boyfriend dumped her in a shitty way at a shitty time, 2) she cursed at God, 3) and she had a miscarriage... because she cursed at God.

image

Holy shit. You are serious. Oh...kay.

Then we have Caleb whose wife died four years ago, leaving him to raise their daughter alone. He hasn't dated or even looked at a single woman since then. But he falls madly in love with Abby after she falls over, stumbles over the few sentences she attempts to create in his presence, and blushes at everything he says like it's some sort of autonomic response to his voice. But he's just your regular nice guy. There's nothing special about him to make him stand out from the crowd in any way.

So two plain, boring people fall in love. A Mary Sue and a Prince Charming. There's no conflict aside from some snotty moms that give snotty looks. It's G-rated, which... blech. I've never seen a character blush at such innocent things before. Super insanely cheesy. I hope I never have to read something like this again.

That being said... if you enjoy totally G-rated, conflict-free, straight up chicklit fluffy romances with gushing Mary Sues, you will probably love this.